I Vote For .......

The election road-show is back in town, and the signs are all over the place. Flags with every possible red-and-black combination dotting the cityscape, editions of the Tamil political weekly Thuglak disappearing off the news-stands by the evening of publication, fantastic political allegations being levelled and even more fantastic poll-alliances being forged, party cadres getting down and dirty in some good ol' fist fights,.....oh yes, interesting times are upon us again!

I, with my impeccable sense of civic duty, decide to get myself an electoral photo-identity card today, without which you are not allowed to exercise your voting franchise, however relevant or irrelevant that particular exercise may be. So the whole family bundles into the car and we set out on our simple task. After all, it's just a matter of walking in, getting your photo snapped and an ID card given, we tell ourselves...shouldn't take more than an hour...

10.30 AM

The venue happens to be a typical corporation school, one of those dilapidated buildings which nobody ever notices (least of all the students) until a huge crowd gathers around it one fine day and you know that elections are around the corner. We realise we have left one task unaccounted for before we can hope to have our photos taken. We are told we need to get our individual eligibility forms which were supplied by the Election Commission,and produce them to the photographer before we could get our mugs snapped.
And where can we get this form, we ask a helpful bystander. He points us to a couple of benches,where a mob of people seem to be lynching someone. This 'someone' turns out to be a hefty sheaf of papers which the junta are ravaging in search of their respective forms.
Papers are flying in the air....papers are being torn in overenthusiastic pursuit....papers are being used to make toy-boats by bored kids. My Dad and I exchange nervous glances before manfully plunging in.

11.15 AM

...Finally! We hit gold! After a lot of toil and struggle, and with a lot more of luck, we manage to find all our forms, and in reasonable condition too. Bruised and dishevelled, we exit the madding crowd and enter the other popular manifestation of the common man - the queue. Long and serpentine, it would have put that sinister anaconda of that eponymously titled B-grade movie to shame. But with true sons-of-the-soil spirit, we decide to stick it out and join the tail of the snake. My Dad is in a bad mood, and he says how he's sure that the mess with the forms must have been a deliberate ploy to keep the number of actual voters to a minimum, and increase the stake of the voters 'in black'. Iam not even shocked that I dont feel shocked at this conspiracy theory.

12.30 PM

After what seems like an endless ordeal under the blazing Chennai sun, we finally get to see the inside of the photography room. Hmm....I can actually see the camera now...just one goddamned digital camera for the seething mass of humanity waiting outside! No wonder the queue was moving at a snail's pace. My turn arrives, I strike a pose which the photographer doesn't seem to be the least interested in, click, and the deed is done. Another hour's wait awaits us, we are told, before the ID cards with our images scanned on it will be ready.

3.30 PM

An hour, which consists of 180 minutes, later, a volunteer walks up to us hapless souls with a stack of ID cards, and begins calling out our names, with people acknowledging and receiving their cards when their turn came. This brings back a flood of memories to me of high-school attendance roll-calls...hands shooting up with a make-sure-its-heard shout of "yes, ma'am!"...People are pressing me on all sides, desperate not to miss out on their names, and I feel suffocated....and just before I am sure of passing out, I hear my name being called out from somewhere, feebly, like from outer space. My hand shoots up, knocking a few people's heads back in the process, I let out a strangled make-sure-its-heard shout of "Am here!"...and finally, Iam the proud owner of my own electoral photo identity card.


Aah, the joys of participating in the greatest democratic exercise of them all! I can hardly wait for voting day now...

But I forgive the administrators for this one miserable experience, I forgive the Government, I forgive the system, I forgive them all...I feel,..I feel like God.

No, I haven't bought an Avenger,...but the suspenseful events of this post have culminated in a happy ending for me today.

Iam going to be packing my bags for Jamshedpur soon!!...Yep, all is forgiven.